Current:Home > StocksTikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree. -GrowthProspect
TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree.
View
Date:2025-04-11 14:55:55
TikTokers say they've discovered the secret to predicting whether a couple will last or eventually breakup − and psychologists say they're actually onto something.
It's called the bird test, and it's the subject of research conducted by psychologist John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to investigating the psychology of relationships. Videos tagged #birdtest have accumulated more than 16 million views with users testing the theory on their significant others.
The test involves getting excited about something insignificant and seeing how your partner reacts. For instance, if you look out the window and exclaim, "Wow, that's a beautiful bird," does your partner look to see what you're interested in or do they ignore it and go about their business? Or worse: Do they lash out and dismiss your enthusiasm entirely?
Repeated reactions that involve ignoring or flat-out rejecting your attempts to connect, even over something small like a bird, doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, the bird test posits.
Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says there's a lot of truth to it.
"The beauty of the bird test is, basically ... it's a bid to ask whoever you're with to turn towards you and engage with you and show interest in something that you're interested in, versus what (Gottman) calls turning away," he says.
Is the bird test reliable?
The purpose of the bird test is to see how often your partner picks up on bids you offer them in your relationship. Brown describes a bid as "a request to engage and to connect with the other, no matter what the topic is," such as an invitation to look at a bird.
In his research, Gottman found couples who stayed together and reported feeling happy in their relationships turned toward each other about 86% of the time when presented a bid from their partner. Couples who broke up or felt unhappy in their relationships turned toward each other only about 33% of the time, according to The Gottman Institute's website.
David and Victoria Beckhamand how to (maybe) tell if your partner is in love with you
Bids may seem small, but they happen frequently, so it's important not to ignore them.
"Throughout the day, we're often making these bids right?" licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "It's not unusual to say, 'Hey, do you want to have dinner now? Do you want to go on a walk? Oh, look at this cool Netflix show.' How is your partner responding and reacting?"
Several TikTokers have put their partners to the bird test, including former "Bachelorette" star Michelle Young, who practically jumped for joy when her significant other stopped to look out the window when she said she saw a cardinal. Gottman himself has endorsed the trend on TikTok as well.
What if the bird test goes wrong?
Don't panic if your partner fails a bird test.
Brown says that, if you're going to employ the bird test, make sure it's not during a time when your partner is occupied.
"If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to look at a bird, but it's the seventh game of the World Series for your partner, and your partner may say, 'I can't turn towards you now,' ... that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed," Brown says.
Also, it's more important to see how your partner responds to you over time, so don't write them off if they fail a single bird test.
"Make those bids a few times over the course of a couple days," Feuerman says. "Look for the pattern. So, if consistently the partner ignores, doesn't respond, the bid isn't tuned into, then yes, I would say someone could reasonably discern 'I might have an issue here' or there might be a problem."
And if there is an issue, talk it out − and keep in mind no one is going to pass the bird test every time.
"People are going to miss bids on occasion, and so it's not about people getting worried or panicked that they're missing some, because you will. We all will," Feuerman says. "We're human."
veryGood! (54431)
Related
- Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow owns a $3 million Batmobile Tumbler
- LeBron James intends to sign a new deal with the Lakers, AP source says
- Inside the Real Love Lives of Bridgerton Stars
- Taylor Swift dedicates acoustic song to Stevie Nicks in Dublin: ‘She's a hero of mine’
- EU countries double down on a halt to Syrian asylum claims but will not yet send people back
- How ratings for first presidential debate of 2024 compare with past debates
- 2024 BET Awards: See All the Celebrity Fashion on the Red Carpet
- Evacuation orders lifted for some Arizona residents forced from their homes days ago by a wildfire
- US wholesale inflation accelerated in November in sign that some price pressures remain elevated
- 2024 BET Awards: See All the Celebrity Fashion on the Red Carpet
Ranking
- Grammy nominee Teddy Swims on love, growth and embracing change
- Second U.S. service member in months charged with rape in Japan's Okinawa: We are outraged
- Taylor Swift says at Eras Tour in Dublin that 'Folklore' cottage 'belongs in Ireland'
- How many points did Caitlin Clark score? Rookie nears triple-double in win vs. Mercury
- Can Bill Belichick turn North Carolina into a winner? At 72, he's chasing one last high
- Lorde, Charli XCX’s viral moment and the truth about friendship breakups
- Simone Biles leads at US Olympic trials, but shaky beam routine gets her fired up
- TikTok is shocked at these hilarious, unhinged text messages from boomer parents
Recommendation
Jorge Ramos reveals his final day with 'Noticiero Univision': 'It's been quite a ride'
BET Awards 2024: See the Complete List of Winners
Severe storm floods basements of Albuquerque City Hall and Police Department
From Luxurious to Rugged, These Are the Best Hotels Near National Parks
Former Syrian official arrested in California who oversaw prison charged with torture
Lupita Nyong'o talks 'grief and euphoria' of 'Quiet Place' ending
Yung Miami Leaves Little to the Imagination on 2024 BET Awards Red Carpet
Why Eric Dane Thinks He Was Fired From Grey’s Anatomy